The Feminist Parent

Raising children with values and behaviors that support gender equity

Ready for a generation of kids that know they deserve to reach their full potential (regardless of gender) and recognize when they’re being limited (because of their gender). Together, by normalizing and celebrating differences, we can create healthy gender awareness as well as social justice-seeking in our kids.

Ever wonder how to teach your girls about gender bias and sexism without scaring them? Or how to teach your boys about gender inequality without shaming them? Or to teach all of them about privilege without making them feel better or worse than anyone else?

Progressive parents care about rectifying gender inequality so their sons and daughters can grow up with fewer socially-constructed constraints. In other words, parents who stand for equality are feminists.

Read more for articles, opinions, and ideas about how to increase your kids consciousness about these things without booooring lectures and hideous eye rolls.

Jo-Ann has written a book!

An invaluable guide to understanding and dismantling sexism for parents trying to raise confident and powerful girls in a culture that often demeans them.

Learn More

What People Are Saying About The Feminist Parent

“I learned a lot scrolling through your site. I’m most impressed by the idea of making sex and sexuality just a normal part of life as kids grow up…because, well, it is”

— Max, Dad Data Scientist
“I found myself near tears several times, reacting to the sheer direct-hit for so many of the things I struggle with as a parent and as a woman. For better or worse, I’m not easily impressed but this is vitally important stuff addressed in a really useful way.”

— Christina, mother of 2 Professor and Clinical Psychologist
“I found the Feminist Parent when I was looking for help with teen sexuality for my older two. It’s so helpful for that but it’s also giving me a lot of ideas for sharing info on gender (in)equality with my youngest two. Thanks!”

— Rachael, Mother of 4, Family Law Attorney
“I have become more aware of sexism directed toward me and am very concerned about how it affects or will affect my daughters. Your website gives me a better handle on how to best deal with it. Thank you!!!”

— Daisy, Mother to 8 and 12 year old girls
“I’m not a parent but man I wish my parents had this site when I was growing up. Or if it existed when I was a teenager I could have learned so much about all the destructive messages I was internalizing. It would have saved me a lot.”

— Dana, age 23
“I have 3 kids under 5 and I have started to see all the ways I might be stereotyping my kids. The last thing I want is to limit them so I plan to revisit this website often.”

— Rhonda P. Mom of 3
“I shared your website with my teenage daughter and she said she feels like she’s been trying to tell us all this for years. Thanks for helping us see more clearly what she means when she says we don’t have faith in her abilities.”

— Dario, Father of Whitney and Oliver
“All I can say is THANK YOU. This site describes my experiences growing up and as a woman and gives me the language for it that I’ve lacked. My kids will be better off for this. Heck, the world will be too. I’m relieved and grateful.”

— Lisa Gordon, Mom of Tanya, Max and Mieka
I am so grateful to have this comprehensive, centralized resource where I can direct patients, friends, and their kids. I trust The Feminist Parent to help people along their path.

— Kimberly Lawrence Kol, Clinical Psychologist and mother

Equal Parenting

Science widely demonstrates that it is nature AND nurture – biological AND social processes — that create differences among the sexes. In other words, our social, cultural world heavily interacts with our genes and hormones to magnify differences between boys and girls.

In fact, boys’ and girls’ brains are remarkably alike. But small differences at birth become amplified over time, as we — parents, teachers, peers, the culture — unwittingly reinforce gender stereotypes.

Bodies and Beauty

When it comes to kids' BODIES, we have 3 Goals:

1. Teaching our kids they have the right to decide what happens to their bodies [READ MORE]

2. Helping kids embrace the bodies they're born with [READ MORE]

3. Creating an open channel of judgment-free communication so they'll take their questions and concerns to us first [READ MORE]

When it comes to kids' BEAUTY, we want kids to know:

1. They're SOMEBODY not some body [READ MORE]

2. Beauty is in the eye of the....TIMES [READ MORE]

Sex

Girls are expected to be sexy but not sexual, at least not too sexual. How sexual is acceptable is a moving target. Often if a girl chooses not to engage sexually she’s called a tease or prude, but if she does she’s considered slutty. This impossible bind in girls’ personal lives also shows up in a similar way in women’s professional lives in terms of power. Exercise power and you’re a bitch, don’t and you’re incompetent.

Gender

Sex and gender are different. Our sex is typically assigned at birth based on our genitals. Currently, many people argue this is an immutable, biological state but if you check out this video from Riley Dennis you might appreciate the greater complexities inherent in sex. Gender, like sex, was once considered immutable but there is now large agreement it is a social construct.

Children are usually told there are two gender identities to pick from and that their sex determines which one they should pick: boy or girl. This is called the “gender binary.” But it can take time for a person to figure out and express their own gender identity.

Gender Bias And Sexism

It’s true there have been worse times and places to be a woman. As a society, we increasingly condemn outright sexual harassment and violence. But girls continue to face subtle yet pervasive sexism daily. It’s a slippery slope that starts with gender stereotyping and what we often call “tradition”, slides into the muddy ooze of objectification and sexualization, and lands in the poisonous waters of sexual harassment and violence against women. The more girls understand the sexist system they live in, the more control they may have on how it impacts their self confidence, self-respect and safety.

Sexual Harassment and Violence

Research shows a whopping 87% of girls have been sexually harassed but, in most cases, no one has ever discussed sexual harassment with them. Instead, we focus on how strong, equal and powerful they are. When we don’t address the unpleasant and creepy experiences that are a girl’s inheritance, we do them a disservice. Many girls are so desensitized to harassment and belittlement and come to believe everything from unwanted and unsolicited sexual comments, to sexual touching to rape is a normal part of life. They are deeply confused about why it makes them feel bad or they internalize the sexism and blame themselves when something hurtful or harmful happens.

Resources & Recommendations

A selection of books, TV shows, movies, and websites for children of all ages that can help with the task of raising empowered girls